A couple of months ago, I wrote a blog, entitled,’ show a little more love’. With all that is going on in America today, there could not possibly be a better time than now.
The world has become such a stressful place with what seems to be an unlimited amount of pressure applied to our daily lives, particularly people of color (African Americans to be more specific). This population not only is more likely to succumb to COVID-19 but compounding the problem is endless police brutality. It seems to never end.
Somewhere in the midst of one’s daily struggles, the phase often uttered is, – ‘lets us pray about it’. Lord, we have been praying and praying. Sometimes it feels like endless praying. Yet still waiting for change to come. Some are dealing with all the above in addition to losing a loved one. Wow, how do you handle all of this? The weight of the world is on your shoulders. You must push through; others are depending on you. How does one move forward in a positive mindset?
As mentioned in my book, “Coping with the loss of a loved One”, in Chapter 3, I share ways to overcome while living through these valley experiences. It is not easy or comfortable. While experiencing the chaos around us, there is that overwhelming sense of grief, loneliness, isolation, and emotional pain. God says in Psalm 46:10 – “Be still and know that I am God.” No matter what you are going through, be still. Draw strength and nourishment from God’s well of grace. Now is the perfect time to spend more time reading God’s word. There is a message for you within the pages of this ancient book. There is a balm in Gilead, know that He is God and will see us through. Not in our time, but His own.
For many, this is an extremely difficult time. It can be an emotional tug of war. This blog is addressed to those who have lost their mother. I remember when I was a child, my mother explained to me that on Mother’s day Sunday if your mom is still living, you wear a red rose. If your mother is no longer with you, a white rose is worn. My mind could not process at the time, possibly having to wear a white rose. How could I go on with life without mom? I remember praying for the Lord not to take my mom from me. How would I survive?
Many years have passed and mom is no longer with me. Her loss was beyond devastation. So much so until there has been a time that I could not attend a Mother’s day service one year because of the weight of sadness and the reminder of her no longer being with me. I didn’t want to wear a white rose.
Now, several years have passed and I have made adjustments in my life. I view life knowing that mom lives on in my heart and I often reflect on the many lessons she taught me in life. I rely on II Corinthians 5:1, “ For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.” Mom is no longer on this earth but I do believe and it gives me comfort knowing that she earned her new home up in Glory land. I know that I will see her again someday.
Today, I encourage you if your mother is no longer on this side of Glory, to cherish your memories of her, focus on being the best person you can be, not only for your self satisfaction but also to make her proud. And to live your life pleasing God and helping mankind in any way possible. Let’s face it, it gets rough down here at times. Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers around the globe.
Oh my, so much is going in the world today. The Coronavirus has creeped up and caught us off guard. Unfortunately, it has affected many and caused unexpected deaths. How do we cope with losing someone that, maybe a month ago, had perfect health? This makes it an unexpected death and unexpected deaths are more stressful and difficult to process.
Sometimes after losing a loved one, you may find yourself alone. There are various reasons one may be alone. It could be death, divorce, few family members, lack of support system. How do you manage without falling into a state of depression or overwhelmed with anxiety?
In my book, “Coping with the loss of a loved one”, one area covered when finding yourself alone and wondering how to manage is to reach out to someone whom you trust and feel comfortable confiding in. If you are not able to reach out to someone physically then with today’s technology, reach out via phone, zoom, virtual communication. At a time, such as this, I suggest to text less and call the friend/ family and hear their voice or face-time. It will be much more effective.
The goal is to form a bond with someone that you trust and share your feelings. Know that you are not alone. If your spiritual walk is important to you, talk to God about your feelings. I can’t stress enough just how therapeutic journaling can be since we’re stuck on the inside due to current social distancing and there’s a story inside of you. Begin to jot down your thoughts of what your story is. What do you feel the need to share? Remember, this social distancing will not last always.
Life, what does it mean and do you take time for granted? I’d like to challenge each person reading this blog. Go and tell at least one person that you love them or express how you feel about them. My book,” Coping with the loss of a loved one” is about my life and love for my mother. She was not only mom but my best friend. I often expressed not only in words but in action how I felt. This is important that you express, in action, how you feel about someone special in your life because the truth is, someday and no one knows when they may not be here for you to express your love and affection. Show that you care now while you are able. We often hear people say,” tomorrow is not promised”. No, it isn’t, but let’s not take that phrase for granted as we often do.
I can say that I am now able to smile when I reflect on the memories of time spent with mom. I can smile because I did all that I could in showing her, not just telling her how much I loved and appreciated her. I am free from wondering if I could have done more. In my heart, I believe she was aware that I did all that I could.
Free your mind. If you have lost a loved one and you are plagued with constant thoughts of feeling that you could have and should have done more, stop the mental torture. Praise yourself for doing all that you could. Now is the time to take care of yourself and promote self-care.
This is the22nd of January and I’ve been talking about writing a blog for over a year. One thing I’m a pro at is procrastination. Well, I’m finally tired of thinking of doing something almost every morning and never bring it into fruition. Today it stops, finally, my first blog. So much to write about. So much that I want to express but that will come in time. Today, I have a question for you..want has God called you to do or task to complete but you continuously put off until later, and later, and later? I challenge you as this new year begins, put into action whatever God is calling you to do and at least make one step. Make at least one attempt to carry out that task. My assigned task for this year 2020 is to lift up those who struggle with grief of losing a loved one, be it family member, friend, pet, etc. Whatever that loss may be, it can be a struggle to move on and accept the change that comes with living. It’s painful but you can bear it and I feel comfortable saying that it will get better..in time. I’ve had to learn that on my own. My intention is to post every two weeks or once a month..not sure as of yet but hang in there with me and spread the word. Be encouraged and know that God will bring you through. Now, I’m proud of myself for having completed this personal assignment. My hope/ prayer is that my words uplift and encourage.